Crime Strikes Rural Alabama, Police Blame Satan

Apparently the work of the devil is afoot. At least, that’s what the police department from Opp, Alabama think. In 2017, there were more than 662,390 police officers keeping our streets safe, but can they keep us safe from Satan himself? You’d think we’d never have to ask this question, but here we are.

This small Alabama town has had only two homicides in the decade between 2007 and 2017. In 2018, however, the town has had five homicides. Police officers investigating were at a loss for words. Unless those words were an all-caps Facebook post about Satan and general godlessness being the cause of such atrocities.

“…THERE HAVE BEEN FIVE MURDERS IN COVINGTON COUNTY IN 2018. THESE MURDERS HAVE BEEN DONE BY OUR YOUNG PEOPLE. THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE WE HAVE TURNED AWAY FROM GOD AND EMBRACED SATAN. WE MAY NOT HAVE MEANT TO DO SO BUT, WE HAVE. IT IS TIME TO ASK FOR GOD’S HELP TO STOP THIS…” the post cried.

The rambling, capitalized Facebook post from the town police department has since been deleted. Satan or not, government branches aren’t allowed to push any sort of religious beliefs. Naturally, this was in pretty blatant violation of the whole separation of church and state thing.

“Police officers take an oath to protect and serve all citizens, including those who practice a minority religion or no religion at all. This inappropriate post sends a chilling message to non-Christians and non-believers that they are presumed guilty,” said Annie Laurie Gaylor, co-president of the Freedom From Religion Foundation.

The viral post not only brought fire and brimstone on the department for legislative reasons. It swiftly became open game for social media trolls who obviously helped with nothing more than fueling the hellfire. In addition, everything that has happened in the town of fewer than 7,000 people has been blamed on Lucifer. Weather patterns, restaurant closings, other police reports? Satan.

“The department has very directly endorsed one religious ideology to the exclusion of minority religions and atheism and decried Satanism. Neither message is permissible,” said Sam Grover, a legal representative for the Freedom From Religion organization.

The police department has been eerily silent. Given the fact that police departments have a duty to investigate homicide, regardless of its frequency, no details were mentioned about the murders, potential suspects, motives, or evidence.

There remains no evidence linking the crimes to the prince of the power of the air.

inclue@inclue.com'

Author: Inclue

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